Chopped! May 28, 2012

Had to cut off the hair. Watcha think?

Wow April 29, 2012

It has been over a month since I have posted anything. Wow. I have a real problem with committment, even if it’s to a blog.

Anyway.

What’s up chickies?

I am on the verge of tears almost all the time now. My son(step-son) graduates in a few weeks. WEEKS – not years. Last week we still had a few years to go and all the sudden, *poof*, he is going to senior prom and THIS IS REALLY GOING TO HAPPEN – FOR REALS. Oh my gawd!

We take him to Antie H. in June so he can register officially for college and he will stay with her while he works the summer and gets ready for school in the fall. He will be gone. I just so seriously cannot believe this is happening.

Then I think, –I’m gonna be a total wreck when my son, my baby, goes to school. We have seven years. Well hell, the way the last seven went by with Mr. Cool, that means I have all of like 5 seconds till Mamma’s little baby goes off. I will be a complete and utter basket case. How do families do this all the time?

Crap.

On a lighter note, my husband went on a first-ever fishing trip with other actual men that are not his family. He is 58 and apparently deprived of male companionship. He almost backed out until I convinced him this is a good thing (all the guys are good guys – no funny business). He comes home tomorrow – I won’t act completely desperate for him to get back. I guess we are joined at the hip because I miss my husband.

Work – good.

Crisis pregnancy center – all classes are full. The state (CYFD, TANF, Transitional Housing) is referring people who receive help of some type to take our parenting classes. This is awesome because I happen to think we have a spectacular curriculum, but I worry we are getting too far away from our mission. Only God knows, I am willing to follow wherever He takes me.

Thyroid – hmm. Maybe a whole other post on that later. Let’s just say much of how I feel is 100% the way I eat, sleep and otherwise take care of myself. The monkey is on my back if I really want to feel better.

what about you guys – any news?

God, it’s me again March 16, 2012

Dude, are You there? Don’t You see what is going on here? I try not to gripe or complain, which is saying a lot for me. You provide, protect and answer prayers for me on a regular basis.

But You see my friend over there? Yes, that one. The one going through the divorce. She needs You right now, more importantly her children and soon-to-be ex needs You even more. Could you maybe slap that daddy upside the head with a big gospel stick?

How about my other friend over there. You see her… she is the one that just found out her teen daughter is pregnant. The sperm donor jumped ship. To top it off, her husband just downgraded his job in a very significant way. We know you provide, but do You really have to stretch their faith that far?

What about the beautiful young girl I couldn’t convince to parent her child? She went to the abortion clinic anyway. Just where are You in all this mess, because it hurts dammit.

That great couple at church that does the Blended Family classes – what’s up with the cancer there? If we lose him, we lose her. He is her spiritual covering and she will be devastated.

When it seems we can’t catch a break. When everything hits the fan all at once. When we get our feelings hurt for being left out of the office clique or our husband answers too harshly . . . well, honestly You seem kinda far away during these tough times.

Is it supposed to be like that? Really? Because some days I am so discouraged. It’s hard and a lot of the time it just doesn’t seem worth it.

Then, yesterday, You gave me this verse not once, not twice, but THREE times. What’s up with that? Perseverance? Can’t I just have a day where I hide from everyone and feel just a little sorry for myself? No?

James 1:12 (NASB)
Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.

Ok, Ok. Whatever You want to do in me and through me, I submit. I don’t like it. In fact, I am feeling bent out of shape about it. But I will do it, grumbling and mumbling under my breath until I see Your glorious results. Tell Jesus “Hi” and I love Him too. It’s through His name I pray to You, Amen.

No poo . . . March 9, 2012

What commercial was it that had the “no bull” line? I can’t remember, but every time I say “no poo” my head says it in that drawl, “no bull”.

Intrigued yet? I have only washed my hair three times in the last three weeks, and I really don’t think I will ever shampoo again. Seriously.

Theory (which I have read before): Shampoo is a harsh detergent (even “natural” shampoo). Half the chemicals we don’t have any idea how bad they are. Harsh detergent causes your scalp to over-produce oil in response to being strip-mined for oil.

Solution: Don’t strip-mine.

I made a solution of baking soda (about 4 tablespoons per quart of water). That is the “wash”. I rub it in good after squirting on my hair with a squirt bottle. I let it set a minute and rinse. Sometimes repeat depending on how much product I put in my hair.

“Conditioner” is a weak RAW apple cider vinegar solution (about 1/4 cup or less of ACV to about a quart of water). My hair\scalp is very oily (normally) and I don’t use much, if I do my hair feels greasy. Sometimes I even do the wash\condition and wash again.

Results: surprisingly my hair is responding well. I am having a hard time remembering that I need less than half the product (heat protection) that I would normally use. Really just a dab. My hair feels different. I just chopped it all off recently (uber short) because of the damage (flat iron, curling, coloring, rubber-banding, hormone etc).  It was still very coarse because I have more grey and my hormones have been so whacky, my hair was not styling at all and felt horrible.

Of course the vinegar smells when you are using it, but with the extra “wash” after using it and a very good rinse, no smell whatsoever. It doesn’t have that nice floral smell it used to have with shampoo, but it certainly doesn’t stink. If I put too much ACV or product, my hair will be too greasy the next day, so I played with the ACV concentration and the final wash works for me. If you have fine hair or dry hair, I think a small adjustment in the amount of baking soda in the wash and the amount of ACV in the conditioner would still work.

If “googled” you will pull up lots of websites with ladies who do this. It apparently works with curly or straight, fine or thick hair.

***WARNING*** There is an adjustment period. I have read that 6-8 weeks for your scalp to quit freaking out about not being stripped. I seem to have found my right adjustment and there is some freaking out but not a lot. Meaning, at the very end of the day I am ready to “wash” my hair – so I can’t skip a day right now. Maybe after 6-8 weeks I can skip a day or two in between like some of the other ladies that do this. (Sorry no links, I didn’t save them as bookmarks).

On the smell side note: I think as I put the *very* small amount of product in my hair, I am going to spritz one spray of my favorite perfume in the product before I put it in my hair. Should take care of that.

***** Going even crazier down the soap-free train*****

I quit washing my face with soap. I had an all-natural face soap and it still left my face dry after washing. I would put on moisturizer afterwards but still wake up with my face a greasy mess. Wash again before make-up. So I was like tight-dry-greasy, if that makes sense.

Incoming: oil wash. Since I do have oily skin I use a higher percentage of castor oil. 70% castor oil, 30% extra-virgin olive oil. Shake well and rub into my dirty face\neck very well, on top of make-up and everything. Take a very warm washcloth and place over face until it cools. Wipe down face. Rinse very well in hot water and repeat until the oil is off. I have awakened to a baby-soft face every morning. Not oily at all. At the end of the day I am still oily, but I think once my face quits overreacting to no soap it will improve as well.

??Further proof I am crazy??

I am toying with the idea that if ACV conditions your hair so well, will it do your skin too? So last night I used that and a wash cloth to “wash” with. I figured that if it is anti-microbial and “conditions” it should work against dirt, grime and smell. So far my alligator legs look dry, but not nearly as bad as they have looked. I figured I would try it for a few days and see what my skin does.

 

Sorry so long of a post. Sounds nasty but I assure you I would not want to smell or look unkept, so I will report any adverse effects.

 

Small Rant March 1, 2012

OK, for those that actually come and look . . I have no idea how that last post was posted 5 times!! No idea. Sorry, blonde moment I suppose.

Life is good. In general. I say that tongue in cheek. I can’t think of anything that would qualify my life as “not so good”. Thank goodness. You know, I have a tendency to get discouraged easily. I read these depressing stories about mothers who kill their children by running them to death, fathers who violate and murder their own child. Children killing parents. Children killing classmates. Divorces. I just want to pull my hair out in despair.

Currently at the crisis pregnancy center we have 3 clients\families coming for parenting classes because their children were taken from them through CYFD (Children, Youth and Family department). Foster care. Two of these are very actively seeking to correct the reason their children were taken (NOT due to abuse or neglect, mind you). These two families are doing everything they are told to do, they are following every command, have made the needed corrections in their household . . . and CYFD hangs on to their kids. It seems as if these people are playing a type of god and dangling parenting privileges in their faces – taunting them and giving them a hard time. They have no idea what else they need to do to get their kids back or when this could possibly happen.

I am pissed, honestly. A system meant to protect children from abuse, neglect and exploitation is actively keeping these kids  from parents who may not be perfect and have made honest mistakes but desperately want to be good parents and get their kids back. This same system falls down on the job when they are called to legitimate abuse situations – nothing is done and these kids die.

I am so emotionally drained at times with all the different cases at the center. I know it is my calling and I know what God wants me to do, but I can’t help but identify with each family that comes in. Honestly there are times that I am at a loss. I know I need to replenish with the Word of God. Some days I need someone to minister to me. I am weary of seeing the extreme ends of these situations and it seems the devil is winning.

Argh. Rant over.

 

 

 

Missed Leap Day March 1, 2012

I totally meant to write something profound or awesome for leap day. Instead I paid bills and balanced the checkbook. Meh, watcha gonna do? At least the check book balanced and I was able to whittle down the medical bills – we received our income tax refund. Yay that it is provision for our needs (thank you Jesus) . . . but boo – I want an iPhone, waa, waa, waa! You hear me crying? Oh well.

Guess it will have to wait. as of right now I only have about $ 1,000.00 outstanding. I won’t tell you how much the credit card it. Shameful, I know. I should be a better steward of my money.

On a side note, I really wanted to do a time capsule for leap day and didn’t do it. I just didn’t make the time for it. So how about you, is there anything you do to make a leap day special?

Home organization February 25, 2012

What a gift it is to be able to care for your home in an organized, systematic manner. I can’t just wake up and decide “what to do” today, because I get side-tracked and lose focus.

I found an organizing\housecleaning website called Fly Lady. It has my house smelling clean and looking nice and spiffy. I had to share. Maybe you don’t have a problem with this our you have better things to do, but the bottom line is that we are all busy. This helps so enjoy!

38 Things February 25, 2012

I recently had a birthday! Woo-hoo, right? Anyway, thought I would post 38 things about me, one for every year of my life. Not fascinating, but here it is.

1. Almost all my days start with the hair\makeup routine. That routine usually finishes with me wishing I could be prettier.
2. At almost 40 years old and I am still waiting for my mom and dad to say they are proud of me. Maybe they aren’t, I don’t know.
3. By the same token that I wish I was more outgoing, there are severe times that I wish I could become a recluse. Maybe I have multiple personalities, lol.
4. Dream jobs: geologist, archeologist, counselor, architect, historian or lead singer at bar clubs (I can’t sing)
5. I am a middle child. Sandwiched between an older and younger sister, mom thought she would tag one last one on the end – the one and only boy.
6. I am a Texas girl, born and raised. I miss it every day. Things are just different there.
7. I cry easily at stupid things, but when I should be honestly hurt I just get mad.
8. I dabbled in witchcraft as a teenager.
9. I have a great fear of heights that I am not sure how I got that, I used to love to climb the tallest trees as a child.
10. I have learned in life that you can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your friend’s nose.
11. I have many moments where I wish I was single and alone.
12. I have never found a hair product that I love and will stick with. I have maybe 50 gels, hairsprays, spritzers, heat protectants, mousse cans and frizz controllers. Leave it to say I am never happy with my hair.
13. I have suffered daily headaches for more than 14 years and wonder why other people piss and complain when they have one (or God forbid, take off of work). May I never have a headache that bad – please Lord!
14. I haven’t fully learned to trust God in certain areas of my life because I feel like He has let me down. Shame on me, I know. I just don’t know how to do it.
15. I honestly want to be humble but there are times when I choke on my own self-righteousness
16. I know where I could hide bodies.
17. I lack serious discipline in my life and I marvel when I encounter someone who shows great discipline in any area of theirs.
18. I love coffee, good – strong – coffee. Strong. Did I say that already?
19. I love sharp cheddar cheese with raw onions. Just sliced together and nothing else.
20. I once set a park on fire playing with matches. It was a big fire. I was eight. I didn’t get caught.
21. I used the men’s bathroom when I was pregnant. Not on purpose. I thought it was so sweet they had a urinal for all the women and their little boys. No sooner had I left the bathroom that I noticed it had a “man” figure on the door. Mortified.
22. I prefer cartoons over chick flicks any day. There are, however, days when I just want blood & gut action films.
23. I secretly love to read celebrity gossip. I guess it’s not a secret anymore
24. I sometimes wonder why God bothers to answer so many of my prayers in a positive way. I fail Him daily.
25. I want to end abortion – not out of some religious self-righteousness, but because I have personally witnessed the hurt and harm it delivers to the mother (not to mention her baby)
26. I want to see a Tuscan sunrise and end the day with cheese and wine – from Italy
27. I weigh 40 pounds more than I did before my pregnancy, my son is 13. Get a move on!
28. I wish I had a closer relationship with my mom. That would mean having a mom who cared enough to reciprocate, but alas.
29. I wished I had the needed encouragement or right words in high school to excel and try and get scholarships. I had no idea that you could basically go to college for free and didn’t think enough of myself to think I could succeed. Too bad, I was really smart.
30. I would rather have mac-n-cheese every night for dinner, or a fried baloney sandwich. Good thing I have a family that needs nutrition or else I wouldn’t cook.
31. I partied my way through high school.
32. Julia Sugarbaker is still a lady I would love to “copy” in her ability to be so lady-like while telling someone off.
33. My stress food is that wonderful Frito cheese in the small cans – ooey, gooey and just plain good. If I eat the whole thing it makes me high. Seriously.
34. Other people’s negativity has a tendency to morph to me very quickly and I really try to avoid them. I soak it up like a sponge.
35. Sometimes I wish I was more fun & outgoing, had more friends
36. Then I realize each relationship takes work, including friends and I think, naw, nevermind
37. When I am feeling restless or mad, I love to turn up music so loud I can’t hear anything else.
38. When I was a young teen I had a huge crush on Boy George. I still shudder.

Slow going February 12, 2012

Hi!

I’m not dead. That’s good, right?

I am, however, spending way too much time on Pinterest.  *sigh*

Other than that, not much going on. I am trying to practice what I preach and focus a little bit better on my finances. I have let them get way out of hand. We still haven’t adjusted our lifestyle since I went part time and it is starting to catch up with me.

So, tighten the belt a little bit and stick to a budget. The medical bills are starting to roll in and I want to freak. But when I put it all on paper, I can see that I blow way too much money.

Enter, Dave Ramsey. Oh, yes, that old friend? I once knew you quiet well. Welcome back.

*grin*

I have more than enough, supplied by the great Giver Himself. I just need to re-learn how to be a better steward.

Philipians 4:18-19

¹⁸ I have received full payment and have more than enough. I am amply supplied, now that I have received from Epaphroditus the gifts you sent. They are a fragrant offering, an acceptable sacrifice, pleasing to God. ¹⁹ And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.

Rumor Has It February 2, 2012

This lady rocks! (Sorry, nothing profound today – just had to share)